Rejection: Fight or Flight
The term “rejection” often stirs up negative emotions. Some might feel worthless and retreat, while others use it as motivation to push harder. Writers know rejection all too well. I’ve experienced it, and I’m not naive enough to think it won’t happen again.
That nine-letter word took me on an emotional roller coaster, but I never let it defeat me, nor block my path to getting published.
In hindsight, my earliest rejection came from myself. Trying to balance work, raise a young family, and find writing time was tough. I began doubting my ability to finish a novel, let alone see it published, so I shelved that dream.
Three months later, the characters in my mind grew louder, refusing to be ignored. Their voices—and the evolving plot—pushed me back to writing. Renewed faith led me to join a romance writers’ critique group.
I showed up with my first chapter, watched everyone read in silence, then scratch out words, cut paragraphs, and litter the margins with scribbles. My gut twisted at their blunt critiques. When the talk began, someone flatly said, “I don’t like your heroine’s name. Change it!” At the next meeting, the same person admitted surprise that I’d dared return.
Was I discouraged? No. As J.K. Rowling said, “Perseverance is absolutely essential, not just to produce all those words, but to survive rejection and criticism.”
Action Plan: What Next?
I grew thicker skin, listened to their comments, and revised some sections. Still, instinct kept me true to much of my original material. A few months later, my family relocated interstate due to my husband’s job.
After moving, I contacted another critique group. Its plum-voiced coordinator interviewed me over the phone: Was I published? No. Had I completed a manuscript? Not fully. Won any competitions? Not yet. Her conclusion? I had nothing to offer them.
Ouch! A critique group had turned me down.
Luckily, the next group welcomed me with open arms, no questions asked. Thus began my long journey to publication with the “HOGs” (Hearts of Gold), a supportive crew that stuck by me.
If At First You Don’t Succeed …
Over the years, I entered national and international writing competitions and began placing in them. I sent submissions to publishers and agents and racked up one rejection after another. I recorded each in a black notebook I playfully titled, “My Little Black Book of Rejections,” ending up with around thirty to forty entries.
Embracing feedback was key. I learned from those rejections, from a detailed manuscript appraisal, and from attending conferences and workshops. With the HOGs’ help, I polished my novel until I felt confident it was top quality.
At a Romance Writers of Australia conference, I pitched my historical romance, THE PIRATE LORD, to an agent. She asked to see the full manuscript. Three months later, as I was doing chores, I got an email: one of the Big Five publishers had made an offer!
Overcome with emotion, I had to hand my phone to my husband, who finished reading the agent’s email aloud. In the following weeks, two more offers rolled in. Three of the Big Five wanted to publish THE PIRATE LORD as an eBook. After all that time, I finally had the validation I craved.
Personal Success
THE PIRATE LORD hit #1 in Historical Romance on Amazon Australia, holding that spot for two weeks and climbing to #6 in the Kindle Store’s Top Paid 100. My debut novel stood alongside giants like Diana Gabaldon, Lee Child, and Paula Hawkins. I’m still amazed.
My second book, THE PRODIGAL LAIRD (Harper Collins Australia), reached #1 in Amazon (AU) Kindle Scottish Historical Romance and hit the Top 100 Bestsellers list in the same category with Amazon (US) Kindle, Kobo (AU) and iBooks (AU).
I’ve embraced independent publishing by releasing a collection of my award-winning short stories. Taking that leap has been truly empowering.
If you’re wondering, I never changed my heroine’s name in my first book. I trusted her character and my own voice. As for that critique group that rejected me? They folded about fourteen months later. The HOGs, on the other hand, are still in touch after twenty years, producing published authors across various genres. I’m blessed with a wonderful husband, family, colleagues, and friends who continue to support me.
My Advice?
Rejection is not to be feared. Embrace it. Learn from it. Drawn strength from it. Chase your dream, pursue your goal, and trust that it’s worth persisting despite difficult days or what people might say.
